scared, insecure
child of the sixties
wars and assassinations
streets on fire
old school father’s
wrath and ire
mother’s adoration
without touch
lovesick boy crush
on every cute girl
daydreaming
and scheming
of finding my princess
afraid of rejection
afraid of acceptance
shallow as deep space
crazy and lazy
college campus daze
winter quarter and snow
stoned blind
in cafeteria lines
I saw those
crystal blue eyes
and lost the remnants
of my grounded mind
plain city
beauty queen
she was wild
and willing
but not able
for me
ripped my fantasies
to shreds
so I ran
into the sun
and wanted to fight
the tide
highways, byways
truck stop serenade
wore holes in my knuckles
and hiking shoes
shoved a pencil
into my heart
to stop the bleeding
ending up sporting
texas leather
and boots
and some fine
dancehall ladies
she was young and pretty
broken child of the city
and I took her
in my arms
she created a nest
and tried her best
to mend my fever
and break my fences
climbing in Colorado
skipping out
on a wedding
hanging at castlerock
when we heard the news
hurricane aiming
directly at Houston
I drove the shift
when we caught it in Lubbock
rain grinding the glass
hit the calm of the eye
somewhere around Temple
as we pulled into town
Alicia died down
but I was shaking so hard
I couldn’t drive anymore
she rode out the storm
silently shivering
and I walked in
reeking of adrenaline
as her terror yielded…
what a wonderful night
a dream in a dream
we loved like fallen angels
our souls pure and clean
when we woke up
I kissed her soft cheek
and walked away…
she wasn’t “the one”
sailing the ocean
looking for treasure
and glory, I guess
forgetting the pain
I found cozy arms
and feminine charms
but grew lonely, tired,
and frightened of aging
without leaving my mark
scarred, insecure
man of the eighties
said goodbye to the sea
and found a good woman
who sheltered the tempest
but ignored the real me
we built a strong home
raised some good kids
but she smothered my spirit
and I shattered her feelings
into lethal shards…
the American dream
turned nightmare
extreme
hanging on
for the children
chose a traveling trade
flying the skies
moving so fast
never wondering why
when a foreign goddess
with an always-known smile
awakened my senses
saw through my disguise
and covered me
in waterfall sheets
sweet perfection
and raw electricity
now every path, sea,
and sky intersect
at a crossroad
she is all in all ways
previous loves and desires
innocence, beauty
kerosene passion
merged into one…
the poet’s epitome
like a magic canvass
enchanted and calmed
by my soulmate’s wand
I know my responsibility
but I want to be free
and just share love
with her, eternally
for each other and
all those we care for
strong, hard
unconditionally
but I find myself
at the rainbow’s end
not having or holding
without being cursed
by Áine’s agonyRunnells, Iowa ‘09
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